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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Written by
Albert Einstein
I'd love to sell out completely. It's just that nobody has been willing to buy.
Written by
John Waters
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Written by
George Burns
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that, if you bore people, they think it's their fault.
Written by
Henry Kissinger
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Written by
Robert Benchley
Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities.
Written by
Frank Lloyd Wright
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
Written by
Fran Lebowitz
I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.
Written by
Shaquille O'Neal
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Written by
Rodney Dangerfield
If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's gonna stop 'em.
Written by
Yogi Berra
I haven't read any of the autobiographies about me.
Written by
Elizabeth Taylor
A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you the less you know.
Written by
Diane Arbus
The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much.
Written by
Thornton Wilder
Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind.
Written by
William Westmoreland
If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.
Written by
Dave Barry
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
Written by
Lily Tomlin
An actor's a guy who, if you ain't talking about him, ain't listening.
Written by
Marlon Brando
My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
Written by
Steven Wright
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Written by
Steven Wright
Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
Written by
Yogi Berra
A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
Written by
Gilbert K. Chesterton
He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.
Written by
Raymond Chandler
You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.
Written by
John Cleese
I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.
Written by
Will Rogers
Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.
Written by
Winston Churchill
You can figure out who you were by which movies you loved when.
Written by
Mary Schmich
I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.
Written by
Jonathan Winters
Help us to be ever faithful gardeners of the spirit, who know that without darkness nothing comes to birth, and without light nothing flowers.
Written by
May Sarton
Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.
Written by
Ted Williams
Effective leadership is putting first things first. Effective management is discipline, carrying it out.
Written by
Stephen Covey
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