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We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up.
Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music.
Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.
The best sex education for kids is when Daddy pats Mommy on the fanny when he comes home from work.
What do we want our kids to do? Sweep up around Japanese computers?
Walter F. Mondale
Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.
I never had a chance to play with dolls like other kids. I started working when I was six years old.
I hated school. Even to this day, when I see a school bus it's just depressing to me. The poor little kids.
It'd be stupid for me to sit here and say that there aren't kids who look up to me, but my responsibility is not to them. I'm not a baby sitter.
Kids are at my level. I like goofing around with them.
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
Mom and Pop were just a couple of kids when they got married. He was eighteen, she was sixteen and I was three.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids.
I should be getting photographs of me with my arm around these people like restaurant owners do, because eventually I am going to have to prove to my kids that once I was an actor!
I'm not perfect, I do drink. I do smoke. Carson Daly can't go out and get messed up, he can't smoke in front of kids - he's the face of MTV, and he has to be good. But me? I can.
Yeah, some kids called me fish lips because I had these really full lips. Now I'm sure all those same girls are getting collagen injections, so I'm having the last laugh.
The whole concept of 'grounding' children is utterly stupid - they just go off and rebel and don't like you. When my kids eventually come along, I don't want them to not like me.
When I came to Los Angeles, it was the first time that I ever felt like I belong somewhere. Not because it was wacky, but because people here understood what I felt like to perform, and there were other kids my age who wanted to do it. I didn't get looked at as God, you freak.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
You're dead if you aim only for kids. Adults are only kids grown up, anyway.
Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don't go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won't laugh at you.
The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
After doing One Fine Day and playing a pediatrician on ER, I'll never have kids. I'm going to have a vasectomy.
Kids don't learn the fundamentals of baseball at the games anymore.
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