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The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.
Written by
Finley Peter Dunne
All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.
Written by
George Orwell
The secret of business is to know something that nobody else knows.
Written by
Aristotle Onassis
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
Written by
Laurence J. Peter
Poetry is the synthesis of hyacinths and biscuits.
Written by
Carl Sandburg
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
Written by
B. F. Skinner
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
Written by
Abraham Lincoln
Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.
Written by
Jonathan Swift
I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power.
Written by
Arthur C. Clarke
We're overpaying him, but he's worth it.
Written by
Samuel Goldwyn
If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
Written by
Robert Benchley
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Written by
Robert Benchley
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
Written by
Fran Lebowitz
I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.
Written by
Shaquille O'Neal
When you arrive at a fork in the road, take it.
Written by
Yogi Berra
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Written by
Henry Kissinger
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Written by
Harry S Truman
The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.
Written by
Gilbert K. Chesterton
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Written by
Mark Russell
Don't pay any attention to the critics - don't even ignore them.
Written by
Samuel Goldwyn
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Written by
Fran Lebowitz
Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.
Written by
E. B. White
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Written by
Isaac Asimov
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
Written by
Will Rogers
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Written by
H. G. Wells
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
Written by
Henny Youngman
A champion is someone who gets up when he can't.
Written by
Jack Dempsey
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Written by
Rodney Dangerfield
He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Written by
Winston Churchill
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
Written by
Jack Benny
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