W. C. Fields Quotes - 9quotes.com

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
Written by W. C. Fields
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
Written by W. C. Fields
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
Written by W. C. Fields
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
Written by W. C. Fields
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
Written by W. C. Fields
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
Written by W. C. Fields
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
Written by W. C. Fields
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Written by W. C. Fields
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
Written by W. C. Fields
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
Written by W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
Written by W. C. Fields
Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.
Written by W. C. Fields
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Written by W. C. Fields
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
Written by W. C. Fields
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
Written by W. C. Fields
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
Written by W. C. Fields
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
Written by W. C. Fields
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
Written by W. C. Fields
I like children - fried.
Written by W. C. Fields
I drink therefore I am.
Written by W. C. Fields
I never met a kid I liked.
Written by W. C. Fields
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
Written by W. C. Fields
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
Written by W. C. Fields
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
Written by W. C. Fields
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
Written by W. C. Fields
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
Written by W. C. Fields
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
Written by W. C. Fields
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
Written by W. C. Fields
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
Written by W. C. Fields
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
Written by W. C. Fields

Join our feeds to automatically receive the latest headlines, news, and information formatted for your club's website or news reader.

Social connect: