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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.
Written by
Steve Martin
When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well.
Written by
Steve Martin
An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.
Written by
Steve Martin
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
Written by
Steve Martin
Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
Written by
Steve Martin
Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
Written by
Steve Martin
Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
Written by
Steve Martin
You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
Written by
Steve Martin
I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness.
Written by
Steve Martin
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Written by
Steve Martin
What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
Written by
Steve Martin
I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.
Written by
Steve Martin
Well, excuuuuuse me!
Written by
Steve Martin
Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.
Written by
Steve Martin
I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
Written by
Steve Martin
I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.
Written by
Steve Martin
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
Written by
Steve Martin
Love is a promise delivered already broken.
Written by
Steve Martin
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Written by
Steve Martin
Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.
Written by
Steve Martin
The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor first because writing is what you do when you are ready and acting is what you do when someone else is ready.
Written by
Steve Martin
What is a movie star? A movie star is many things. They can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They can be Democrats... or skinny.
Written by
Steve Martin
I wish I could do a lot of things different. I'm not going to tell you what they are, but if I had a list of all my films right now, I'd go, 'Okay, I'll cross that one out and cross that one out and cross that one out and cross that one out.' Really. But I've made over 40 films. How can I not have some losers in there?
Written by
Steve Martin
I loved doing 'Pennies from Heaven.' Because you have to understand that I'd been doing comedy for 15 to 20 years, and suddenly along came the opportunity to do this beautiful film. It was so emotional to me. I loved it. I don't think it was a good career move, but I have no regrets about doing it.
Written by
Steve Martin
I would get records by Earl Scruggs... I would tune my banjo down and I'd pick out the songs note by note. Learned how to play that way. I persevered. There was a book written by Pete Seeger, who showed you some basic strumming and some basic picking... And I kind of worked out my own style of playing.
Written by
Steve Martin
The bluegrass community... can be very strict. I didn't know if I'd be welcomed into the bluegrass community or not, but I think they judge you very fairly... I felt really welcome.
Written by
Steve Martin
Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
Written by
Steve Martin
I'm for the Wall Street Occupiers. But will they accept me when they find out I sell packaged mortgage default instruments to children?
Written by
Steve Martin
I'm tired of wasting letters when punctuation will do, period.
Written by
Steve Martin
I got a flue shot and now my chimney works perfectly.
Written by
Steve Martin
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