Quentin Crisp Quotes - 9quotes.com

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Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.
Written by Quentin Crisp
Men get laid, but women get screwed.
Written by Quentin Crisp
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
Written by Quentin Crisp
The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
Written by Quentin Crisp
There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.
Written by Quentin Crisp
Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.
Written by Quentin Crisp
The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
Written by Quentin Crisp
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
Written by Quentin Crisp
I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum.
Written by Quentin Crisp
I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.
Written by Quentin Crisp
The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
Written by Quentin Crisp
For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.
Written by Quentin Crisp
Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
Written by Quentin Crisp
Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
Written by Quentin Crisp
There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.
Written by Quentin Crisp
Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.
Written by Quentin Crisp
An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.
Written by Quentin Crisp
Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
Written by Quentin Crisp
The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
Written by Quentin Crisp
Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin.
Written by Quentin Crisp
In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis.
Written by Quentin Crisp
However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
Written by Quentin Crisp
Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
Written by Quentin Crisp
The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as 'Soho' poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent.
Written by Quentin Crisp
It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect. Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment, but of boredom.
Written by Quentin Crisp
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
Written by Quentin Crisp
Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.
Written by Quentin Crisp
Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps.
Written by Quentin Crisp
Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
Written by Quentin Crisp
You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.
Written by Quentin Crisp

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