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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Written by
Ogden Nash
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
Written by
Ogden Nash
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Written by
Ogden Nash
Too clever is dumb.
Written by
Ogden Nash
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
Written by
Ogden Nash
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
Written by
Ogden Nash
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
Written by
Ogden Nash
The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
Written by
Ogden Nash
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
Written by
Ogden Nash
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
Written by
Ogden Nash
Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
Written by
Ogden Nash
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Written by
Ogden Nash
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
Written by
Ogden Nash
The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
Written by
Ogden Nash
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.
Written by
Ogden Nash
I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
Written by
Ogden Nash
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
Written by
Ogden Nash
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
Written by
Ogden Nash
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
Written by
Ogden Nash
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
Written by
Ogden Nash
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
Written by
Ogden Nash
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
Written by
Ogden Nash
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
Written by
Ogden Nash
People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
Written by
Ogden Nash
Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
Written by
Ogden Nash
Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
Written by
Ogden Nash
No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven't done.
Written by
Ogden Nash
Women would rather be right than reasonable.
Written by
Ogden Nash
Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
Written by
Ogden Nash
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
Written by
Ogden Nash
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