Garry Shandling Quotes - 9quotes.com

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I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.
Written by Garry Shandling
I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.
Written by Garry Shandling
My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.
Written by Garry Shandling
I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.
Written by Garry Shandling
Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some reflection of my real feeling about relationships, because I do have commitment issues. My friends tell me I have intimacy problems, but they don't know me, so who cares what they think?
Written by Garry Shandling
But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.
Written by Garry Shandling
Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.
Written by Garry Shandling
First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.
Written by Garry Shandling
Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids.
Written by Garry Shandling
I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session.
Written by Garry Shandling
I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right.
Written by Garry Shandling
I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present.
Written by Garry Shandling
I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with - if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him - I think that's a man's way of tuning out.
Written by Garry Shandling
I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there.
Written by Garry Shandling
I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest.
Written by Garry Shandling
I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate.
Written by Garry Shandling
I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green.
Written by Garry Shandling
I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large.
Written by Garry Shandling
I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front.
Written by Garry Shandling
I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much.
Written by Garry Shandling
I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching a show. This was the head of the studio putting a puppet show on. And I'll tell you, he wasn't bad.
Written by Garry Shandling
My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.
Written by Garry Shandling
The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show.
Written by Garry Shandling
Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship.
Written by Garry Shandling
Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.
Written by Garry Shandling
You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't.
Written by Garry Shandling
I practice safe sex - I use an airbag.
Written by Garry Shandling
It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside.
Written by Garry Shandling
I may discuss love, and I don't mind if two men fall in love, fine. Two women, fine. But I flinch when I think of two Jewish women getting together and having a child because the idea of having two Jewish mothers makes my head explode. I have one; I couldn't handle two.
Written by Garry Shandling
I like to talk on the cell when I do interviews. That way, I double my chances of getting brain cancer: from the cell phone, and from the questions.
Written by Garry Shandling

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