Fran Lebowitz Quotes - 9quotes.com

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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Polite conversation is rarely either.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
You're only as good as your last haircut.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
If you're going to America, bring your own food.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
Written by Fran Lebowitz
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
Written by Fran Lebowitz

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