Andy Rooney Quotes - 9quotes.com

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
Written by Andy Rooney
We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
Written by Andy Rooney
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
Written by Andy Rooney
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Written by Andy Rooney
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
Written by Andy Rooney
Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
Written by Andy Rooney
I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
Written by Andy Rooney
As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.
Written by Andy Rooney
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Written by Andy Rooney
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
Written by Andy Rooney
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
Written by Andy Rooney
I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
Written by Andy Rooney
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
Written by Andy Rooney
The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
Written by Andy Rooney
The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
Written by Andy Rooney
Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
Written by Andy Rooney
The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
Written by Andy Rooney
All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
Written by Andy Rooney
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.
Written by Andy Rooney
Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
Written by Andy Rooney
Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
Written by Andy Rooney
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Written by Andy Rooney
I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.
Written by Andy Rooney
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
Written by Andy Rooney
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
Written by Andy Rooney
Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
Written by Andy Rooney
Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
Written by Andy Rooney
Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
Written by Andy Rooney
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
Written by Andy Rooney
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
Written by Andy Rooney

Join our feeds to automatically receive the latest headlines, news, and information formatted for your club's website or news reader.

Social connect: