Ambrose Bierce Quotes - 9quotes.com

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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Written by Ambrose Bierce
Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.
Written by Ambrose Bierce

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